I Count on Movie Reviewers Being Consistently Wrong

It was fascinating to read the reviews of the movie Patriot and then see a totally different show. Thankfully I have developed the reverse theory of movie reviews.

If it gets four stars, I know we are in for a movie like “Leaving Las Vegas.” When they trash it as being simplistic, or redundant, I know I will love it.

The complaint the reviewers had of Patriot is that history is not a pretty picture and showing only one farm burning is sufficient, two redundant, and three is overkill.

Guess what guys?  Sitting freely behind your computer terminals trashing the memories of men who died to give you this freedom… hundreds of homes, villages and churches were torched by the British. Sorry for the redundancy.

And if the idea of showing young boys ambushing soldiers with… gasp… guns is offensive… then maybe you need to only review movies that have a G rating where fantasy usually prevails.

It is unfortunate that these reviewer’s liberal sensibilities are bruised by a two hour reinactment of four years of living hell for the people who fought and died for their right to whine. But I do appreciate their consistency though.

I can be sure that a one star review is going to be great and four star a real stinker.